Have you ever wondered how some moms can keep their cool and always be happy? How is she able to stay regulated and manage her emotions during tantrums. Yep, the same ones that you so dread. Here are some habits of happy moms. And things moms must give up to enjoy the same level of happiness.
Things Moms Must Give Up To Be Happy Moms
1. Happy moms don’t try to impress others
Think of it!
If you are always concerned about keeping your home spotless and your child’s clothes free of milk and food stains. Obsessed with your child always having the latest toys, and so forth. Don’t you think that’s wasted energy and added anxieties to your already hectic lifestyle?
Happy moms don’t wake up every morning trying to impress others. They do what they can, what works best for her and her family. Not what’s needed to impress the neighbors or her in-laws.
One of the very first things moms must give up to be happy is the urge to impress others.
You don’t need a new outfit for your baby every holiday or five pairs of shoes that he will only wear once.
You don’t!
Take it from a mom who once lived for impressing others.
It’s not worth it!
Simplicity goes a long way.
Motherhood is a journey, not a race.
2. Moms must give up- stop caring what others think of them
You probably think this is way too difficult for you to do.
But the truth is. You will discover your authenticity once you stop caring what others think of you. And begin to live a life where you are not always looking over your shoulder and wondering who is looking at you.
You will feel less anxious about always needing to be a “text-book-parent.”
And step into that version of yourself where you feel free and liberated.
So, how?
How do you stop caring what others think of you?
This may sound lame to you. But just stop caring!
Admit that caring what others think of you is depleting. And it sucks the life out of you. Then shift your focus to yourself and being a better mom.
Ignore the noises when those thoughts pop into your head, reminding you of your sister or another mom’s sneaky comments thrown at you.
Smile and let it go.
Remind yourself that you stop caring what others think of you.
And if you can’t do this.
Just pretend.
Pretend to stop caring what others think of you, and then one day, you will notice that you don’t care.
3. Happy moms make time for themselves
As a busy mom juggling many responsibilities, it’s no shocker that you forget to tend to yourself and your needs.
But you do.
Making time for yourself as a mom is – critical to becoming a happy mom.
It will save you from becoming a burnout mom. Or a mom who yells frequently.
Today I encourage you to commit to taking care of yourself and making time for yourself as a mom.
You will see the results immediately. You will no longer feel overburdened or frazzled.
When you commit to taking care of yourself, you will be setting a positive example for your children. And as they grow, they will know the importance of caring for themselves.
4. Moms must stop multitasking
I know! I know!
We all do it.
In fact, how will anything get done if we don’t multitask?
But did you know that multitasking makes us less efficient and more prone to errors?
It’s backed by science.
Please don’t overdo it, mama.
Focus on what you are doing. Do what you can. Remember, there’s always tomorrow. Your health matters more than anything else.
What would you prefer to be?
A “kick-ass mom” for a couple of hours a day? Or, a distracted mom six hours a day?
And out of the two moms, which mom do you think is the happiest mom?
I agree with you!
But being a “kick-ass mom” requires your focus.
Focus on one thing in the moment rather than ten things all at once.
5. Happy moms don’t overstimulate their kids
We all want to raise intelligent, strong, and successful kids as mothers.
But it doesn’t mean your child needs to get involved in every activity!
In her book, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids – Dr. Laura Markham explains thoroughly the importance of kids having unstructured time.
She wrote:
Unstructured time gives children the opportunity to imagine, invent and create.
If your child is constantly told what to do and when to do it. How will he be able to tap into his creativity? Discover his passions and joy?
Freeing up your child’s schedule ( and yours) means both yours and your child’s life will be less hectic.
You won’t have to be hustling every time to go to different activities. Instead, you will have time to relax and connect as a family. Something that is much needed in families today.
Don’t let the busy culture get in the way of really connecting with those you love.
Living a simple life goes a long way.
6. Moms must stop undervaluing themselves
You do it!
Don’t you?
Every so often, you play small. Or, when someone compliments you, you brush it off.
Maybe you look at the mom in the park and think silently – “wow, she’s so confident! She’s doing so many amazing things!”
We’ve all done this before.
And it’s time moms stop undervaluing themselves and harness their strength.
You are stronger than you think you are. You are doing a fantastic job. And once you stop undervaluing yourself, step into your truth, and acknowledge everything you are. You will see your worth.
And you are worthy of so much in this life.
You are worthy of all the good things in life, mama!
If you are struggling with your worth. Please head over to how to strengthen your self-worth.
7. Happy moms don’t look for validation
In a previous post, I shared how much I yearned for others’ validation early on in motherhood.
This was so debilitating.
And learning to let go of this pathetic need of mine allowed me to grow. To grow into the woman I am today. It helped me realize that the only validation I needed was my own.
If you are constantly looking for others to validate you. And praise you for everything you do. Now is the time to let it go.
Identify what makes you happy and what drains you. And whatever drains you need to go because your happiness matters.
When mommy is happy, she can better serve her family.
8. Happy moms forgive themselves
Moms are humans. And we make many mistakes (more than we would like to admit to – like throwing those kinder surprise egg toys out when you notice it’s been lying there for too long).
The problem is not about making mistakes. It’s holding on to the shame and guilt for way too long.
Like yelling at your child before bedtime or feeding your child hotdogs two days in a row.
To live a fulfilling life and parent peacefully, moms must give up guilt and shame.
Throughout this beautiful and sacred journey of motherhood, you will mess up—time after time. You will run into situations that frustrate you.
And that’s okay.
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Learn to forgive yourself and have compassion for yourself.
It’s not selfish to be kind to yourself. It’s called self-love.
9. Moms have to stop giving up their dreams
Too often, we assume we have to be one or the other. This is so far from the truth.
You can be a mom and still pursue your ambition without guilt, fear, or shame. Moms shouldn’t have to pick between wanting to be present with their children and having a fulfilling career.
We can be everything we are.
Moms can have the best of both worlds.
So if you’ve been holding on to the thought that you have to pick one or the other. That’s something you have to let go of. And the sooner, the better.
10. Thinking you can do it alone
Seeking help from your family is essential!
Mommy cannot and should not have to do it all.
Suppose your kids are too young to help out. Ask your spouse for help with the dishes, laundry, picking up groceries, bathing the kids, etc.
Don’t be stubborn and convince yourself that you don’t need the help. You do need the help.
Ask your mom or in-laws to take your kids for a few hours while you unwind.
And if you have older kids and haven’t implemented chores, now is the time. Now is the time to teach your kids responsibility. A life lesson that will take them a long way.
If you haven’t already done so. Now is a great time to check out a list of chores for 9-year olds.
How can mom start giving these things up?
I am a recovering addict of all ten of these habits.
Thinking of it makes me sick to my stomach. But I’m so grateful that I experienced these and changed the trajectory of my motherhood journey.
Start small. Identify one shift you would like to make today. As it becomes habitual for you. Build onto the next thing and keep going.
Have patience and be kind to yourself. Like everything else, it takes time. But the more your practice, the better you will get at it.
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You have so much happening right now in your life. As you close this screen, you may forget what you must commit to. To be the happiest mama ever!
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