Mom guilt is real! It may feel impossible to overcome mom guilt. Maybe it’s one of those feelings that will always linger around us. Because no matter what we do, there will be a time we feel we should have responded differently to our child’s needs.
Too much screen time! Take out dinner, maybe microwave – depending on what day it is. Late bedtimes. Unable to be present with your kids.
And, of course, social media doesn’t make it any easier on us.
Parenting takes a lot of effort! No two days are the same. And on those rough days, days where we are at our wits – which are pretty standard in motherhood, we feel like a failure. Mom guilt takes control right after we explode.
We then feel remorseful, hating ourselves for reacting the way we did and hoping we can parent peacefully like our best friend/sister/neighbor.
Ah! Mom guilt is such a thing these days! You know it. And so, do I. We’ve both experienced some variation of it.
We have judged ourselves. Felt not good enough and compared our parenting style to many. We’ve looked for validations from others and suffered in shame quietly.
It doesn’t have to be this way anymore.
Here are nine simple ways to overcome mom guilt.
9 Simple Ways To Overcoming Mom Guilt
1. Fill your cup first
Do you feel guilty for taking care of yourself as a mom? For many, this is one of their most immense guilt! And for a very long time taking care of myself was overlooked as a mom.
We think it’s selfish to put our needs before those we love. We are afraid of filling our cup first, worrying about what others think of us. However, the first thing we have to do is fill our cup until it’s overflowing.
When you can take time to honor yourself and embrace your needs, you will be able to show up and be the mom you desire to be – for your children.
Give yourself the nurturing she needs. Commit to doing something for yourself every day.
It can be as simple as sitting and sipping a cup of tea and reading a page from your favorite book or maybe enjoying a warm bath and brushing your hair.
The little things we do for ourselves will go a long way. It makes us feel full. And when we are complete, we are at our best. And, when we are at our best, we are less likely triggered by those adorable kids of ours.
Keeping your cup full or, better yet, overflowing means you will be able to show up and be the best mom you possibly can for your kids.
2. Why, when, and what makes you feel guilt as a mom
When do you find yourself being overwhelmed by mom guilt?
What triggers you to feel guilty? And why do you feel shame?
Answering these three questions will help you identify your guilt’s root causes.
Do you feel guilty about your parenting style when seeing other parents with their kids? Is it when the in-laws are visiting? Maybe, when your parents or in-laws compare your child to another relative?
Is it because you are spending too much time at work?
Whatever the reasons are. Acknowledge them. Ask yourself:
- if it’s worth feeling guilty over?
- Is it your ego taking over?
- What changes can you make today to improve the situation?
- Do you want to improve the situation to impress others?
- Or, are you making the change for both you and your family?
Take control of the situation by making the best plan for you and your family.
3. Overcome mom guilt through forgiveness
Mom guilt happens to the very best of us. You’re not alone!
When faced with mom guilt, acknowledge it and allow yourself to feel the emotions. Forgive yourself for whatever reasons you may feel you have failed your kids. And choose to feel/be and do differently moving forward.
We are humans, and it’s in our DNA to make mistakes. So, when you do, make sure to be compassionate with yourself. And one way to do this is through forgiveness.
Forgiveness allows us to feel free and liberated.
4. Share your story
Everyone has a unique story to share. Own your truth. Don’t be ashamed or suffer silently with mom guilt. Share your motherhood journey, both the good and bad, with a trusted friend or relative. When you feel like you are at your wits, share this with your significant other or with someone you trust who will listen rather than condemn you and your kids.
5. Tune in to yourself
Yes! Your day is as busy as it gets. But you must take a few minutes for yourself throughout the day.
Give yourself time to breathe in calm and exhale stress or any built-up tension you may be experiencing.
6. Overcome mom guilt by saying no to comparison
Comparison takes away so much from us. It prevents us from being our authentic selves because we want to be like every other mom.
Overcome mom guilt by making choices and doing what’s best for you and your family. What works for your family may not work for someone else’s family. And that’s okay.
You do you. And let others do them. Stop comparing your parenting style with other parents. Every child’s need is different.
7. Begin a spiritual practice
Dr. Laura Markham said in her book – peaceful parents, happy kids.” Your first responsibility in parenting is being mindful of your inner state.”
Finding peace with yourself may help you overcome mom guilt and feel good about your relationship with your kids.
Allow god/source the Universe into your life and make a daily habit of praying and asking for guidance to show up and be the best mom you possibly can be to your kids.
Build a gratitude practice into your lifestyle and express gratification for your kids and the opportunity you have to be a mom.
- 22 healthy habits to start in 2022
- How gratitude can lead to happiness
- Five ways meditation changed my life and can change yours too!
8. Ditch the naysayer
Let’s face it! Everyone got an opinion these days. Even if you don’t ask for it, you may get one when raising your kids.
As a mom, I know how infuriating this can be.
Identify the naysayers in your life and set boundaries. It’s your life, and it’s time you control who you allow stay and who goes or has limited contact with you.
Keep people who uplift and support your motherhood journey, not those who drain your energy.
9. Thrive for progress, not perfection
Stop doing and start being. Soak in as many joyous moments as you possibly can with your kids. Sit and play a game with her without worrying about work or family. Cuddle with her while looking at her favorite cartoon.
Moms are humans. It’s okay not to be perfect. But instead, learn as we go along this sacred journey called motherhood.
Be the imperfectly perfect mom you are, because you kids love you for exactly who you are.
Take control of your mom guilt by:
Stop feeling guilty about making time for yourself as a mom. Take deep breaths throughout your day, taping into your intuition. Discuss your feelings with a trusted friend or the Universe. Ditch the naysayers and comparisons. And don’t forget to enjoy every moment of your motherhood journey.
Mom guilt is something we will always have as a mom. We will always question whether we are excelling in raising our kids well. But it’s important to understand that it’s something we all go through as moms. And the key is to always do your best and let your intuition guide you to do what’s right for you and your kids.