For some, making friends is easy peasy. For others, it’s not as easy. In today’s blog post, I share how you can make and keep friends as a mom in four simple steps.
Making and keeping friends can be so challenging. And even more so difficult as an adult.
Now that you have branched off into motherhood – you may not know how to have a conversation without mentioning your baby or being interrupted by your kid when chatting with your non-mom friends.
Isn’t that weird – how fast friendships can change?!
You no longer feel like you fit in with your girls. You no longer can show up to every girl’s night out as you used to before mamahood.
Now, you feel alone and crave friendship.
Mama, you are not alone!
Most moms have struggled with making and or keeping friends or are currently dealing with it.
Here are four simple steps to making and keeping friends as a mom.
Let’s dive in!
How To Make And Keep Friends As A Mom
1. Admit you need another mama friend
This sounds quite basic!
But here’s the thing, if you keep telling yourself, you got friends, and you don’t need another friend. Guess what?
That’s right; you will be stuck with the same friends who don’t get you and probably never will – or maybe eventually when they get into motherhood.
Recognize that as you go deeper into this motherhood journey, you will need other liked minded moms to communicate with. Moms who are non-judgemental. Moms who will be able to listen to you, cheer you on, and provide support when you most need them.
Go ahead, grab your journal or notebook or open your notes tab somewhere, anywhere you can write down what you want in a friend.
It may feel weird or strange at first. But knowing what you want is always the first step to getting what you want. And the same applies to any relationship.
So – What are some characteristics you would like in your “new best friend?” Does she live nearby to you? How many children does she have? What are their ages? How do you feel when you are around her? Does she uplift you? Is she her authentic self around you?
Knowing the qualities you want in a friend is so important because this will prevent you from attracting the wrong friends into your life.
Affirmed – I attract the right people into my life. They come efffortlessly to me.
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2. Embrace this newfound friendship
Now that you know the exact type of friend you would like to have. Embrace it. Know that the right mama friends are coming into your life.
Also, be aware that she won’t find you if you stay on your sofa.
Where can you find some like-minded mom friends?
How about going outside for a walk in your neighborhood? Many moms take their babies for strolls.
The mall, nearby playground. Is there a community Facebook group for moms where you live? Maybe there is an online mom meetup group?
Suppose there are no mom’s meetup groups in your community. You are in luck! Yes, you are! Don’t you see it?
It’s the perfect opportunity for you to create and facilitate moms’ meetup groups where you can establish some lifelong friends.
Get creative and find or create places to meet up with other moms.
Now, don’t get carried away and make a friend for making a friend’s sake.
You want to cultivate authentic and lasting friendships. So if needed, revisit that vision of your “perfect mom friend” from step one.
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3. Initiate the making and keeping of friends
Making and keeping friends as a mom requires work. Like everything else in life.
Are you ready to put in the work when making and keeping friends as a mom?
So you’ve created a group for like-minded moms. You begin going to the mall with your baby and visiting parks and playgroups.
But, wait! You are still feeling lonely?
Why? Why are you still feeling lonely?
You are not putting yourself out there. You show up but do not say hello to other moms and interact at bear minimum.
It can be challenging when you are an introvert. But no one said making and keeping friends as a mom was going to be easy.
Taking the first step to say hello repeatedly and asking to have another play date at the park is needed if you want to make new moms friends.
Yes, you may be fearful of being turned down. We have all been there before.
But, you know what. You will never know the answer if you don’t ask. You will never find your “perfect mom buddy” if you don’t initiate the friendship.
Are you willing to initiate your subsequent best friendship? Please tag me on Instagram @whatmommy_wants, letting me know.
4. Commit to your friendship
So you begin initiating friendships. Now what?
Here is where the work begins!
It would help if you kept showing up authentically to your friend meetups. Learning more about her and her stories, sharing your stories with them without judgment.
Don’t feel that you only have to share the beautiful parts of your motherhood journey. Be the first to share some of your struggles. You will be impressed that you are not alone.
Moms’ friendships often strengthen through the hardship we face in our motherhood journey. Don’t be afraid to share your journey. You are not alone, mama!
If a friend cannot show up the way, you may want her on a particular day. Respect that. Empathize with her knowing maybe she’s had a tough night with the baby. Don’t judge or assume.
A friend didn’t text back right away. Don’t make assumptions. Assuming she thinks the worst of you or is ignoring you. Because the possibility she’s ignoring you is pretty low.
Don’t make assumptions in friendships or any relationship for that matter. When in doubt, ask.
If you text a friend and she doesn’t text back. Don’t hold grudges. Reach out again.
How To Maintain Your Friends As A Mom
You’ve put in the work, and now you have some fantastic friends. Bravo! You did it.
But, the work is not done.
Like every other one of your relationships out there, this one also needs tender love and care.
What we appreciate grows, and this goes for your friendship as well.
Pour love and gratitude into every one of your friendships
Reach out to your new mama friend every so often. Have regular meetups and playdates. Text or call her to say hello- how are you doing today?
Don’t make your friendship into a competition. Don’t compare yourself to your new friend. And please, please don’t compare your baby to her baby.
What you put into every relationship will get out of it.
One of my first friends here in Canada was with a mom, and after nine years, we are still very good friends. Unfortunately, we no longer live in the same province. But you know what – we remember to text and call each other on birthdays and have regular video calls with our kids.
Now, go out there and meet some fantastic mama friends.
And please like and share this blog post. I want to make a difference in so many moms’ lives, and your liking and sharing do that for this blog.