The role of stay-at-home moms is often underlooked. Many view us, stay-at-home moms, as being content. To some extent, I believe we are contented because we put everyone and everything in front of our needs. However, I don’t believe we are unambitious. I think that is the furthest thing from the truth.
Stay-at-home moms are quite ambitious because we are committed to caring for our families. The downside to being a stay-at-home mom is – sometimes, you downplay who you are.
After years of downplaying who you are. You’ve realized that many people now look down on you.
They see you as ” just a stay-at-home mom.” Which makes you feel insignificant when you are around other corporate or working moms. And let me tell you, nothing is wrong with you for feeling so. I’ve felt that way for a long time as well.
Eventually, that day came when I decided to do something about those feelings and chose to level up and become a more confident stay-at-home mom.
So here are the things I did to level up and become a more confident stay-at-home mom and will continue to do in 2023, and I would love for you to join me so you can become a more confident stay-at-home mom easily.
5 Ways To Be A More Confident Stay-At-Home Mom
1. Embrace the season of life you are in and your role as a stay-at-home mom.
As cliche as this may sound, embracing your role as a stay-at-home mom is the most powerful thing you can do to uplevel your life in 2023 to step into that confident, radiating, blissful mom you are meant to be!
Be proud of your role and responsibilities of being a stay-at-home mom by reminding yourself that without you fulfilling this role, your family won’t be able to operate as it currently is.
Your role is just as important as your spouse, who is the breadwinner.
They are bringing in the finances to operate the financial side of things. And you are contributing to your family by nurturing your home, family, and kids with the everyday stuff associated with being blessed with a family.
2. Spend less time around things and people that drain your energy
Do you find you become overwhlemed and anxious after watching the news, listening to someone, or spending time around a particular group of people?
If so, you may have to switch things up this year by not necessarily saying goodbye to everyone and never looking at the news. But rather limiting the amount of time you associate yourself in such a situation.
By freeing yourself from the environment, you will now be clearing the path to a more positive environment. One that will inspire and uplift you, making you feel good about who you are and who you are becoming.
3. Let your growth be inevitable
A while back, I was listening to one of Lousie Hayes’ meditations, and she said she would be learning until the day she takes her last breath.
I think that is one of the most profound things ever – to learn and be willing to learn until the moment you take your last breath.
We have so much to learn in life, and committing to learning something new every day can be life-changing.
Like Louise Haye, I am committed to learning every day of my life until my last breath.
As a busy everyday mom, I do this by reading for at least 30 minutes every day. I listen to podcasts while doing dishes, laundry, and other mundane activities. In this blog post, I shared my favorite podcasts.
Looking at YouTubers many excellent YouTubers share a wealth of knowledge. Just search for a topic you are interested in, look through a few, and follow the ones that resonate with you.
Blog posts are great as well! Which you are already committed to doing because you are here:-)
4. Commit time to self-love
I believe that self-love directly influences our confidence. Becasue a few years ago, when I felt inferior to others and was constantly comparing myself to others. I had no idea that such a thing as self-love existed. Honestly, I didn’t! Mainly because I was naive and wasn’t committing to my personal growth or learning new things.
Instead, I was changing who I was to fit in and be accepted, which was catastrophic. I constantly looked for others’ validation which sucked so much out of me.
As I grew older and wiser, I realized how intensely these behaviors of mine were affecting me as an individual, wife, and mother, and of course, I hated it.
Until the global pandemic hit in 2020, I committed to learning about myself and completely loving myself for who I was. I saw my imperfections as my strength because they were unique to me. Just as your flaws are notable to you.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean changing who you are. But instead, love yourself for all your unique imperfections.
As women, we often feel like we need a small waistline, a clear complexion, and buttery, shiny hair to feel and look beautiful.
Because there are so many women who have all these characteristics and still struggle with loving themselves because they are constantly looking for others to validate who they are.
My friend, your beauty comes from within. You are beautiful just the way you are.
5. Have goals
Set goals for yourself. These goals don’t have to be grand (unless you want them to be.) It can be as simple as drinking more water, getting more sleep, going outside more, starting an organic kitchen garden, or starting your own business.
Setting goals and taking consistent actions to achieve them will give you a sense of accomplishment that will remind you of your superpowers—providing you with the courage that you are somebody other than “just” a stay-at-home mom.
This feeling of being “somebody” other than a stay-at-home mom will drive you to embrace your ambition. As you embrace your ambition, you will learn how to be a more confident stay-at-home mom.
6. Start a hobby
I started this blog as a hobby and grew it into a business, leading me to create two online businesses and a second blog.
While not every hobby will lead to a business, most sure have for many women.
Rediscover yourself through something that makes you feel relaxed and driven, revealing your childlike personality.
7. Start a gratitude practice
You will gain more confidence as a stay-at-home mom through gratitude by recognizing your many blessings!
Acknowledging your bliss as a stay-at-home mom. Rather than seeing it as someone who does all the mundane things around the house.
Through gratitude, you will become aware of having this luxurious opportunity to raise your kids upright and be present for them.
The more gratitude you feel, the more confident stay-at-home-mom you will become.
8. Smile more
A simple act such as smiling more often can reduce your blood pressure and stress and boost your mood, influencing your confidence level.
Wear that beautiful smile as you drop your kids off at school. Smile and say thank you to the cashier at the supermarket.
Smile as your spouse say something that makes no sense because let’s face it – sometimes they do!
Smile more every day of your life and create a chain reaction in your family and the people you surround yourself with.
Smiling is contagious.
Here are two great TedX speeches that will encourage you to smile more.
9. Become aware of your posture
Take a look at people who seem confident to you and observe one thing they all have in common.
Posture is what immediately comes to my mind.
Confident people don’t slouch. They always stand and sit shoulders back and head held upright.
A great technique to practice this posture is to imagine you are wearing butterfly wings. That holds your shoulder upright. Holding your shoulders and head upright instead of slouching shoulders and bending your head will immediately make you feel confident.
Practicing this posture will eventually ensure you never slouch again. It takes time but be religious about standing and sitting upright with your head up.
10. Develop boundaries and be unapologetic about them
I’m still working on boundaries, but over the years, I have gone for that woman who has always said yes, shifting to maybe I will consider that idea. Let me think about it and get back to you. Unfortunately, I can’t this time but maybe next.
Apart from saying no, setting boundaries with how others treat you will profoundly affect how confident you feel as a stay-at-home mom.
Maybe your spouse sometimes talks to you like you are his daughter, which rubs you on the wrong side. Making you feel inferior and not good enough. Talk to him about it, reminding him you are his wife and not his child and expect to be spoken to in a better way.
You need to set the tone regarding how others speak to you. And you do this quite politely, not necessarily aggressively.
11. Commit to inner work
Confidence has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself. It goes hand in hand. If you feel good about who you are, confidence automatically flows your way.
If you feel insecure or inferior when standing next to others, you will downplay who you are.
Finding the root causes as to why you self-sabotage yourself is imperative in stepping into a more confident stay-at-home mom.
Here are some ways you can commit to doing inner work.
Ask yourself questions and just write without judgment. No need for correct spelling or grammar. Just write.
An effective part of journaling is asking yourself why as you reach the end of your answer and continue doing so until there’s no answer after asking yourself the last why.
Here’s an example:
I want to lose 20 pounds. Why do I want to lose 20 pounds?
So that I feel healthy and look great?
Why do I want to feel good and look great?
So I’m not constantly feeling sluggish? Why do I no longer want to feel sluggish?
I want to be present and active with my kids. Why?
So I can be the best mom possible for my kids? Why?
Because my kids deserve a great mom, the mom I didn’t have while growing up!
Do you see how one thing can lead to the other reaching the root cause of why you feel a certain way in your life? Identifying trauma you probably don’t realize you still hold on to.
Journaling can reveal so many things that you hold deep in your subconscious. Give it a try and tap into that confident woman that lies with you.
Meditating doesn’t necessarily mean shutting all your thoughts out. It doesn’t mean sitting still and not scratching your head or shoulders when necessary. You don’t have to sit still for 15 – 30 minutes.
You can meditate for as little as 1-5 minutes by closing your eyes and thinking your thoughts silently. Sitting with your eyes open and just thinking your thoughts.
Don’t let the idea of meditation scare you because of all the experts said – XYZ.
Give it a try, and take it one day at a time.
My dear friend, you have what it takes to be a more confident stay-at-home mom. As we end this blog post, I want to leave you with this powerful quote from Diane Arbus. –
“Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.”Diane Arbus