Do you find it difficult to foster a healthy relationship with yourself? You’ve tried time after time but still feel unfulfilled? My friend, you’ve been guided to this page for a reason. In today’s blog post, I share six ways to heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself.
A relationship that will transform your life for good!
Time after time, you’ve heard the importance of self-love/self-worth and self-esteem. Yet it’s something you continue to struggle with – loving yourself unconditionally and believing in yourself wholeheartedly.
Self-esteem is something many women suffer with. It’s not only you!
It’s me: the models, motivational speakers, leaders, etc.
Loving yourself and building confidence does not happen overnight. It takes consistency and persistence to heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself. It involves self-reflection, patience, and forgiveness.
Nurturing a healthy relationship with yourself is an ongoing process that involves a lot of work. Work that is needed to help you grow into the healthy, strong, and confident woman you desire to be.
How To Heal And Have A Healthy Relationship With Yourself
1. Self-acceptance
You know yourself better than anyone else. Deep down in your bones, you know how you feel about your body, parenting skills, relationships with others, the home you live in, and the car you drive. Only you know those feelings. So when you read a blog post and look at the motivational speaker on stage preaching, love yourself first and make time for yourself. You know it’s essential, but you don’t feel deserving of it because all you see is your flaws, nothing else!
And while you are trying hard to accept your flaws and embrace them like everyone’s been telling you. It’s a struggle!
Why? Why is it a struggle?
It’s because you’re not comfortable knowing you have those flaws. Every day you are constantly reminding yourself of your shortcomings. You become so conscious that you feel everyone around you recognizes them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
It’s okay that you have flaws and don’t like them. You don’t have to accept them. And you don’t have to wait until these flaws have been improved to begin living your life.
And more so, you don’t have to obsess over these flaws.
Reflect on them and understand your flaws more through journaling and mindfulness activities.
Where do these flaws stem from?
Is it something you’ve always had?
Why don’t you like these flaws of yours?
What action can you take to break out of this flaw today and every day?
You may have to journal on these questions more than once until you get to the root cause of the emotions behind your flaws and your identity.
But getting to know yourself and bonding with her is the first step to healing and having a healthy relationship with yourself.
You will begin to recognize what matters to you and only you. You will no longer make decisions based on what others think of you. But you will start to please yourself, which will lead you to feel more fulfilled and happy.
Related post on self-love:
2. Give back to others
Giving back to others create positive feelings. It allows you to feel fulfilled in life. It makes you feel good about yourself, boosting your self-worth.
A small act of kindness goes a long way. Something as simple as a smile can make not only the other person’s day but yours as well.
Say thank you when someone does something nice for you. Make a small donation to a cause that matters to you. Sign up and volunteer in your community.
Seeing the impact you’ve made by your small act of giving gives you a sense of commitment and satisfaction in life, which allows you to heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself.
3. Heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself through gratification
Gratification is something we talk a lot about on this blog. And it’s mostly because I’ve experienced so much transformation from practicing a simple act of gratification.
It’s so easy for us to look at someone and be jealous of their success or the life they have. I have felt that way many times in the past.
Jealousy is a strong emotion that will lower your worth and deplete every ounce of energy you got. You will get so wrapped up in wanting what others have that you will lose sight of the many blessings you currently have in your life.
You will always come from scarcity because you will see others as your competition. If they have the Range Rover, then you can’t have it!
Jealousy will only make you feel less than you are. Because you are constantly comparing yourself to others. And as Theodore Roosevelt said
Comparison is the theif of joy.
It will blind you from seeing the abundance of fortune you have readily available to you.
Gratification is the answer to healing yourself from jealousy and mastering your relationship with yourself.
When you can look around you and feel full of gratification of the abundance around you – you will feel fulfilled. And you will begin to attract more goodness into your life.
Focus on your blessing and what you have rather than what others have. Stop wanting someone’s body: your neighbor’s Range Rover or your sister’s kids. And develop an appreciation for what you have and for who you are because this appreciation will lead you to be the next best version of yourself.
Every day write three things that you are grateful for. If gratification is new to you, I highly recommend investing in the five-minute journal. It’s one of my favorite journals.
Related post on gratification:
4. Choose to evolve rather than repeat yourself
You are given two choices every morning when you wake. You can either choose to evolve or change the way you do things. Or, you can choose to repeat your old actions and stay stuck.
Commit to growing and learning new things every day of your life. Learn new skills and things that interest you. Try something new or revisit an old hobby of yours. Try a new recipe or take on a new responsibility that will allow you to evolve.
Learning something new is not only fun, but it boosts your self-esteem.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CZZxkiarsON/
5. See the good in yourself
You are a good woman, and you know that!
Forgive yourself for everything you’ve been through. For the mistakes you’ve made in life.
I believe that every mistake you’ve made in life was meant to be made. Because it molds you into the woman you are becoming.
Be patient with yourself and practice unconditional love for yourself.
You can do this by treating yourself with the love and affection you give to someone you love. Whenever you find your inner critic is taking control and speaking negatively, you tell her to time out. You don’t need the drama, and remind yourself that you deserve only the best and are worthy of it. And deep down, you know you are.
Yes, you will have days where you feel all hope is lost. Days that you will feel like you’ve failed your children. Know that these days are typical in motherhood and generally in life. Go easy on yourself. You are a human being with big emotions. Be gentle and forgiving.
6. Be mindful of who you surround yourself with
Jim Rohn said:
that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Look around you – who are you surrounding yourself with? Are these people cheering and supporting you? Are they uplifting you? Or are they criticizing and reminding you of past mistakes? Making excuses for you not to pursue your ambitions?
How are they living their life? Do they have a healthy relationship with themselves? Are they constantly complaining and gossiping?
Do an audit on the people in your life and decide who you will continue to spend time with and who you will need to minimize the amount of time you spend with.
You can not heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself if you surround yourself with negative people. People who are not willing to evolve and grow. People who do not hold the same values as you do.
Your environment needs to be changed for effective healing to take place.
If no one around you gets you – turn to a podcast or YouTube video, follow me on Instagram @whatmommy_wants and let’s be friends.
Growing sometimes means we have to make tough decisions. But growth is essential for healing and having a healthy relationship with yourself.
Relate post on toxicity people:
When you can heal and have a healthy relationship with yourself
You begin to live a life of freedom—full of liberation and happiness. Your self-esteem blossom and you can achieve real growth and confidence to be everything you are.
Your authenticity comes to life, and you become less fearful of what others think of you. Instead, you begin to go after your dreams – on your terms. You know that everything is working out for you and not against you.
Gratification flows effortlessly from you as you continue to pour onto others while fueling yourself.
What is one thing you will work on today as you begin to heal and improve your relationship with yourself?
Please share with me in the comments below.????
Gratitude really is such a powerful tool to build a better relationship with yourself. Thank you so much for sharing those great tips 🙂
It absolutely is 🙂
I agree with all the tips you have given here. Really good post.
Thank you, Abida! Happy you enjoy the read.
Very good points. I appreciate your focus. I have grandkids, but I still appreciate the mommy time I used to have.
Awww. So sweet Debbie.